This past week I was with a 12 year -old bowling when he started answering "What if" type of questions. Then he asked one that really got me thinking. He asked, "If you could go back in time, what would you say to your younger self?" Wow, it took me awhile to think of that one. I definitely have made my mistakes and haven't loved my family as I should have but most importantly I have fallen more in love with my Savior and have learned to allow him to control my life. So, I would tell myself not to worry, and instead focus on Christ above all other matters. I am sure I would have not understood and laughed at my older self as I worried about everything and was afraid I would never do anything with my life. Oh I was so uptight! Anyways, my point is that I am so thankful that the Lord has given me experiences, like living in Ghana, to help me to be less worried and rely more on Him. I still can't believe that I am the same person but I am a testimony that the Lord can change a person. Our goal is to desire Christ more than anything else and the only way to do that, is to praise Him and let goal of my selfishness and pride.
All of this is to say, recently I have had a choice to worry about my future or allow God to make the path. It shocks me that I have this disposition, but it is a blessing that I am not worried about all the little details that need to fall in place. In less than a month, I am traveling back to Ghana and then moving to Togo. When I even think about the word Ghana, so many memories and people flood my mind, oh how I miss teaching those beautiful children, and talking to the Ghanian people, but I know God has designed the next path to Togo. In the process of getting to Togo, there is so much curriculum I must work on, I need to learn French, and I still do not have enough funds to stay for the year. However, I have a plane ticket for August 25th and I am going! Am I working diligently on these issues? Yes, but am I worried? NO. Where does worrying get me? Maybe an ulcer but that is about it. However, by not worrying, I am allowing God to get the glory as He will work out all the details. I know He will help me transition to Togo, I know the French will come sometime soon, and I know without a doubt that God will provide the funds for me to be there for the year. It might not be the amount I am hoping for or I think I need, but God will use what I have to glorify His name. I am a testimony, we all have testimonies how the Lord has provided even when we have doubted and worried. However, I am finding, that it is so much sweeter to just skip the worrying part and give God the driver's seat as long as you Praise Him all the way through!
