Faithfulness

Galatians 2:20
   " I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So the life I now live in the body, I live because of the faithfulness of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."




In the past 9 months while being home, I have understood better the characteristics of God, especially His faithfulness.  What does faithfulness look like?  I can you what it does not look like: selfishness, complaining, laziness, impatience, and wining. Alas, all things I am guilty of portraying.  God's faithfulness is written on every page of the Bible as He cared for the Israelites throughout the Old Testament and kept His promise to bring the redeemer to save us all from our sins: Jesus Christ. 
   "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 9Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.…"  Romans 5:8-9  
   I don't know a better example of faithfulness than God promising to give us everlasting life even if it meant sending His own son to death on the cross.  That promise is never going to change.  His faithfulness doesn't change because He is faithful to care for our small day to day needs as well.  This is where it becomes more difficult for me.  I say "He is faithful" but I have to show that I mean it.  When I first came home, I was happy to see everyone and be in the conveniences of America.  However, as time went on, I didn't know how I would ever receive enough funds to return and thus began the wining and the complaints.  Forward to 8 months later at the end of March where I found myself at 85% knowing quite well that the only way I got there was through God's faithfulness.  I knew that when the rest came, I would have to give God all the glory because there was no way I could manage the rest on my own. 
      So, there I was, one day at 85%, and the next day reading an email that I was at 100%.  I was shocked and then embarrassed because God was faithful even when I was not.  He was working and I was complaining.  The road to this point would have been so much easier if I would have just enjoyed the ride. 
    In the book, "His utmost for His Highest"  Oswald Chambers says, "It is only a faithful person who truly believes that God sovereignly controls his circumstances."  Of course I believe that God is sovereign but if I am not allowing God to control every circumstance, than I am not truly believing in His sovereignty.  I want every being of my body to tell the world that I know that God is sovereign and that only happens by giving God control.  Ouch, control!  We love control but as I have been learning, having control isn't worth the sacrifice we make to lost trust in the Lord.  As Chambers goes on to say, "To be faithful in every circumstance means that we have only one loyalty, or object of our faith--the Lord Jesus Christ....If we will just learn to worship God even during the difficult circumstances, He will change them for the better very quickly if he so chooses."


    Bottom line...God is faithful, it is His character and that will never change.  We have the opportunity to learn through our mountaintop experiences and valleys by fixing our eyes on God and following Him through the path of life.


   I am returning to Togo in a week and I am so thrilled to share love with God's people who need saving.  I am also thankful for the last 9 months in which I had the opportunity to learn how to be faithful to the Lord just as He is faithful, always faithful. 


   " The goal of faithfulness is not that we wil do work for od, but that He will be free to do His work through us.... He expects no complaining on our part and offers no explanation on His part.  God wants to use us as he used His won Son." Oswald Chambers

Perspective

While living in Africa, I was hardly in air conditioning and only used a fan at night.  By the end of the year, anything less than 60 degrees was considered freezing to me!   The worst part about being in the states for the summer was the fact that I would be in air conditioning!  Yes, I constantly had to wear a coat and looked ridiculous when everyone else was actually dressed for summer.  Then came the realization that I would be staying longer than the summer.  As the months passed, the temperature continued to creep down.  By the end of October, I was permanently wearing sweatshirts and hats even while carving pumpkins.  A fear came over me that I would never survive the winter if I was already struggling with the 40's.  Then the winter actually came and it was worse than anyone had imagined.  How on earth was I suppose to survive hypothermia?  But alas, I did survive through each day of winter and just learned to put on as many layers as possible.  I thought I would never be able to stay warm through the winter but of course I am still here.  I made the situation appear worse than it really was.   By February, I would find myself outside wearing shorts in 30 degree weather and thinking it felt warm.  Yes, it felt warm compared to the negatives. The light bulb brightened and it hit me that it was all about  my perspective on the issue.  Temperatures in the high 30's was no longer cold when comparing it to the days that stayed in the negatives.  If I survived the coldest days, I could survive in less harsh conditions. 


     The thought of "perspective" enabled me to apply it to other areas of my life.  For example, I also said when I came home that I would only last in the states until January.  January was flipped over on the calendar and I still found myself in the states.  The impossible all of a sudden became possible because I had a better outlook on the issue.  Frankly, I had two decisions.  I could either be miserable for all my months living in the states or I could accept the fact that God had me in the states for a reason and make the most of the situation.  I sound enlightened writing this, but it did take many months for this point to come clear to me.  Finding God's blessings right where I am planted instead of worrying about where I am not, it is a lot more satisfying.   For nine months, I have been able to help with the youth group, share crazy memories with my family, and grow closer to the Lord. 
      Our perspective should be focused on following the will of God and being filled with His truth.  No matter where we are or what we are doing, we can make the best of it because we have the Lord.  He is faithful and we were made in order to give Him the praises.  I struggled being home but being home was exactly where the Lord wanted me for these months.  Instead of fighting our God on matters we don't understand, let's thank God for how He can use us for his kingdom, let us gain a Christ focused perspective.

Do we know?

  My morning routine consists of spending time in the Word with my Heavenly Father and praying for those whom I know personally.  I also pray for Togo in general and then specifically for all the teachers and students as they grow closer to the Lord.  However, rarely do I spend a significant amount of time praying for my fellow believers from around the world.  However, this morning I felt a need to pray for the body of Christ throughout the world who deal with persecution and turmoil.  Minutes later, I received an email from a pastor in Togo for prayer concerning the Central African Republic.  I feel ashamed to say that I didn't even know there was a problem.

    In the Central African Republic, a group called the seleks are seeking revenge against the anti balaka group and vice versa.  It has become a fight between religions, ethnic groups, and political affiliation.  The infrastructure of the country has crumbled leaving the place empty of schools and hospitals.  To the north, is the country of south Sudan who has seen a displacement 200,000 people as there is also political unrest and innocent people being murdered due to their ethnicity and religion.  If that isn't enough already, Christians in the northeast and southeast of Nigeria are being persecuted by anti-Christian groups.  Where is the end of all of this suffering?   And I have only touched on three countries amidst others going through the same thing. 

       Not to cause a damper to your day, but I guess I think it is important to be aware of the persecution being done to the church body.  As I sit here in a house surrounded by an outside temperature below zero, there is not much I can do other than pray.  Maybe praying seems like a cliché to some but it is the only answer because God is the only answer through suffering.  We must pray for changes in hearts, and that we spend every moment being a testimony of God. 

  Although today seems bleak, Christ is returning someday soon for His kingdom.  The suffering will be finished and He will conquer all.

  
   At the  moment, there is no great persecution being done in Togo like in other African countries.  After hearing about all these problems, it gives me an urgency to be back in Togo.  The Togolese and all people groups need to know the peace that only rests in Christ.  The Christian Schools have the awesome opportunity to share Christ with 3000 students who can then share with their parents and neighbors.  Through a solid Christian education in Togo, the students can be equipped with the tools to evangelize and stand up for their faith through love.  As much as I yearn to save all those who don't believe, we must do our part to be a light in the dark world wherever God has asked us to serve. 

Broken

  Cars break.  Electronics break.  Even relationships break.  Our lives are filled with broken things that just cause clutter and leave us wanting the next big thing.  Like the iphone commercial, we sometimes have the desire to break things on purpose in order to receive something more suitable.  Although the start of this blog sounds dismissal, I am getting to a hope driven point. 


    Being home these past six months has been difficult.  I felt that I don't have a purpose, not sure of a ministry, and missing out on ministry in Togo.  However, instead of feeling empty and wishing for materialistic things to fill the hole, I have been thankful for my brokenness.  Through this emptiness, I have found that the only thing missing is my trust in Christ.  When I am weak, He is strong.  When I feel like I am  nothing, I am allowing God to be everything in my life.  Do I want to be missing out in the opportunity to serve in Togo?  Of course not!  However, I honestly can say that through this time at home, I have learned new ways to serve those around me and most importantly to be still before the Lord.  When all the mission field, it is easy to get busy and in the midst of doing "ministry for the Lord" and actually not take time be in the presence of the Lord personally.  At the present moment, I have had time to think, reflect, and be in awe of the Sovereignty of our Savior.  Without a hesitation, I am thankful to be broken and so I can allow Christ to fill in the missing pieces.  I am not looking for more of me, or to keep the clutter around, as Christ has taken it all and I want to leave more room for Him. 


   We all go through moments of brokenness, loss, and despair.  How we fill that brokenness is what matters.  We can't find hope in things of the world and nothing else can bring Joy and fulfillment than in knowing Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. 


    As I continue to wait on God's perfect timing to return to Togo, I will continue to rest in God's strength.  Nothing, absolutely nothing else, can be more satisfying than being in the arms of Christ and allowing Him to control my life instead of trying to unsuccessfully control my own. 




I am now at about 75%.  At times when I thought I would never reach 50%, God continued to be faithful and I will not give up now that God's work will be done through His body in Togo and throughout the world.  How awesome that we serve the only true God who cares about all of his people throughout His universe. 

Speaking Freely

     After 4 years of teaching in Christian schools, I have grown custom to speaking freely about my faith in Christ.  After all, the whole point of a Christian School is to steer the children towards trusting in Christ and help them strengthen their relationship with the Lord.  When a student was afraid for a loved one, we prayed.  When two students didn't agree on a part of the Bible, we looked a scripture.  When we were just down right all tired of each other, we spent time singing songs of prayer and reading verses about love.  I loved every moment of openly sharing Christ with my students when the time was right.  I love encouraging them to work hard as the Lord was with them and I enjoyed watching their inquisitive faces when they really understood what I was telling them.  I guess I took for granite the fact that 2800 students were encouraged from the Word of God each day and were sharing this truth with their parents.  I didn't realize how awesome this is until I started subbing in public schools. 

    Now, I am not trying to bash public schools because my sister teaches in a public school district and I think she is an amazing teacher and witness to her students!  However, one da when I was subbing it broke my heart when I was not able to openly share about Christ.  I found a student crying  during recess and she was able to tell me that several family members were having surgery soon.  I wanted to comfort her but everything that flooded my mind was not possible to say as it revolved around Christ and His comfort.  It was a horrible moment as I knew what she needed but was not allowed to offer it to her.  I couldn't tell her that Christ loved her and the situation was in his hands.  I couldn't offer bible verses of encouragement nor could I pray for her.  How awful!
I am so thankful for the Christian Schools in Togo where the teachers and I can publicly pray for the students and offer Christ's comfort in time of distress. Nothing will dissipate our feelings of hopelessness unless we are on our knees before our Mighty Savior.  The Christian Schools in Togo are making a difference for eternity as children are knowing that they are loved so much that Christ was willing to die for their sins.  They are then able to share this truth with others.  Please continue to pray for the students and teachers as they boldly stand up the encouragement found in God's word and that they are able to share the Truth with others in Togo. 

Do you trust me?

If someone asks you to trust her(or his) opinion on an ice cream flavor, the consequences aren't that devastating. Trusting someone to pick out a movie, new restaurant, or a hotel, won't result in devastation.  Although these seem like ridiculous trusting situations, we find ourselves in moment where we are skeptical and don't want to trust any opinion or advice.  After all, does anyone trust the government?  Does anyone trust the news or what is actually in our food?   There are actually a lot of things in life that we can distrust.  I was thinking about trust one day in church, (dad I was paying attention!) when I realized am I actually, truthfully able to say that I trust the Lord.  When the Lord asks me, "Do you love me?"   and then, "Do you trust me?"  Are we actually willing to say yes and to follow through with it.  Do you actually realize what it means to trust Jesus?  Of course I trust Jesus when I have a job, a car that runs, a loving family, and so forth.  On the other side, I find myself currently without a steady job, not many friends, wondering when I will return to Togo, and so on with my pitiful story.  Why continue to sob and stay down trodden when I just walk each step in faith.  What does this look like?  I always go back to the Israelites who had to cross into the Jordan River into the Promised Land.  The priests showed their trust in the Lord by stepping into the river before God stopped the water.  We have to take the step of faith before we really see the whole picture or maybe it takes more steps into the water until we see even a small part of the picture.  We are hardly ever going to see the large picture, and to be honest, that is okay because it is too much for us to handle.  Remember that God only gives us what we can handle and although we want to see all that will happen, we are better off without it because it is too much for us to bear.  Instead, of saying, "why?"  we need to commence with "yes, I trust you!" and actually step out into the river in lieu of saying it.  Here I am, asking, why can't I make a real income?  Why am I called to Togo?  Why can't I go now? It sounds a lot like complaining to me!  Although I am an exceptional complainer, it isn't an ideal trait to possess and one that isn't flattering as I am trying to follow my Savior.  Laying that aside, I have decide to trust the Lord.  No, it isn't an easy step at all but when I say, "I trust you Lord" I am putting aside my selfishness, my worries, my agenda and relying on God's perfect time.  I will return to Togo.  I do not know the day and instead of focusing on the negative, I will hold up my hands in submission to my king.  I will surrender the reigns and rest in peace that God has everything taken care of because really He does! 

God has the plan of getting me back to Togo.  Have a part in it by being a prayer of financial supporter. 

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

There is a commercial on TV, I think for expedia, that asks people if they would leave immediately for any destination around the world.  Cathy and I concurred that we would agree to this arrangement also.  However, when I thought about where I would want to visit, I could only think about one place.  Yes, there are million of beautiful places around the world that I would love to see with my eyes, but there is only one place that my heart yearns to be.  Any guesses?  Yes, Togo!  It was such a comfort to know that I really would only want to be in Togo because it isn't a destination to me, it is home.  Now this is where my grandmother would insert, second home.  Yes, Indiana with my family is still home but I know that the Lord has laid Togo on my heart so I can love the people and share Christ.

     There is a month left until school begins and there is still so much that they are trying to accomplish in Togo.  Please pray that they can finish all of the textbooks and will have the funds to print them.  Please pray for Bea as she leaves on the 15th for the states.  Pray for the leadership in Togo, especially for Koudjoji, who lost his wife from cancer.  The Lord is mightier than all the problems and He will continue to sustain us as we bring Christian Education to the children of Togo. 
      I don't know the day when I will see Togo again, only the Lord knows.  I am working towards returning in January, but in the meantime I will learn to faithfully follow my Lord and Savior.